A Visit to Walmart
by AnimeMinion
Summary: More Crackfic-ness. The Host Club goes to Walmart.


**A/N: OhmeeTamaki :) I was told to write more, somebody wanted me to write more stories like 'The Packing Peanuts of Doom!'**

**Kyoya: I never thought such a badly written crack-fic could ever be so loved.**

**Me: I know right :) x300**

**Kyoya: AnimeMinion does not own Ouran High School: Host Club**

**Me: (Future Chapter Alert)I know some of the items listed in this story exist and some I made up; although it's possible there could be a Mori spoon somewhere in the world…**

_A Visit to Walmart_

"Tamaki," the shadow king growled, "is this really necessary?"

Tamaki Suoh looked to his raven haired friend and sighed, "Of course Kyoya. Would I ever take you somewhere in the middle of the night if it wasn't absolutely necessary?"

Kyoya rolled his eyes. "Still, couldn't you have at least waited until I changed out of my pajamas?"

Tamaki looked over at the infamous vice president whom was still dressed in blue and white striped pjs.

"It doesn't matter. I'm sure no one will notice."

Kyoya sighed before following the blonde into his families' limo.

"Where to?" Jeeves, Tamaki's chauffeur, asked with a yawn. Out of the corner of his eye, Kyoya noticed that the chauffer was dressed like him, though his pajamas were pink instead of blue.

Though Tamaki seemed oblivious, Kyoya found this a bit disturbing.

"The Twins'!" Tamaki answered with a great flourish-y hand wave.

"Yes, sir."

Kyoya leaned against the window as the car lurched forward. _This is going to be a _very _long night. _

OoOoOoOoOo

"Senpai," Haruhi, whom had also joined in his president's midnight adventure, poked the blonde in his shoulder, "Where exactly are we going?"

"I'm sorry Haruhi, but I cannot tell you."

"Why not?"

The president adopted a childish expression, "It's a secret." He flicked Haruhi's nose in a flirty manner.

Haruhi grabbed his finger, "Please don't do that, Senpai."

Tamaki's expression soured, and went off into the corner of his limo to grow mushrooms.

"H-how can he even do that?" Haruhi gasped as little fungi poked out of the leather seats.

"I-I'm not exactly sure," Hikaru sweat-dropped.

"That's seat is being added to your dept Haruhi." Kyoya wrote something into a pad, before passing it to Haruhi.

"80,000 YEN!" Haruhi screeched, "TAMAKI STOP GROWING DAMN MUSHROOMS!"

"B-but, my mushrooms…" Tamaki whimpered, patting his 'precious,' "They love me. I named them all Haruhi."

(Somewhere in the background, Hunny awww-ed)

He stroked his mushrooms, "I CAN'T KILL MY DAUGHTERS!"

"Ugh." Haruhi put her head into her hands, "I'll never pay off my debt."

OoOoOoOoOo

Finally the Host Club reached their secret destination.

"WAL-MART?" Kyoya asked, "Tamaki, _why_ are we at a _commoner's market_?" He said, 'commoner's market' like someone (rich) might say, well, 'commoner's market.' **(A/N: Ugh. Doesn't that word give you the shivers? 'Commoner.' Ugh.)**

"To understand our commoner-like member." Everyone instantly looked at Haruhi, "and to win her heart." That last part was whispered.

_Of course, _Kyoya sighed, as he and the rest of the Host Club members exited the limo.

"We're in," the red-headed twins agreed. _As always._

"Us too!" Hunny smiled, while Mori grunted.

_Oh boy._

OoOoOoOoOo

_-Just Outside Walmart-_

"I didn't know stores were open this late," Kaoru marveled at the _Open 24 Hours _sign in the window.

"Me either," Haruhi smiled, "I'll have to come here more often!"

"I heard they have great giant tuna," Kyoya laughed.

"Really?"

"Uh huh," Kyoya smirked.

Haruhi bubbled with excitement. "Look a 'Help Wanted' sign!" She ran up to the glass window.

"HELP?" Tamaki ran up next to Haruhi. "These people need HELP we must HELP them!"

He ran towards the door.

It didn't open.

"Open!" Tamaki commanded.

It still didn't open.

"OPEN!" Tamaki whined.

Still closed.

"Damn it!" Tamaki cried, stomping his foot.

The door opened.

"Wow Tama-chan! You made it open!"

Tamaki cracked his knuckles, "Of course, dear Senpai. All it took was some tough love."

While the others cheered, Haruhi sweat-dropped.

…and then the door closed.

"W-what…?" Tamaki's mouth formed a wide O.

"Haha, nice one M'lord," the twins chuckled.

Tamaki sniffed, his eyes filling with anime tears, before retiring to a corner of the parking lot.

"Come to me, my little Haruhi's." Mushrooms popped out of the cement, completely defying logic.

The human Haruhi shivered, "That's…disturbing."

"It is, isn't?" Kyoya responded, pushing his glasses up his nose.

_Shadow King._

"I-I better go help them." _Scary Shadow King._

OoOoOoOoOo

Haruhi approached the offending door and stomped hard.

The door opened.

The others marveled, especially Tamaki, whom momentarily had forgotten about his little 'Haruhi's' who died once their fathers' attention was diverted.

"NOOOOO!" Tamaki cried, both hands cupping his dead 'daughters', "WHHHHY?"

He gently poked his daughters, mumbling 'speak to me' and 'I'm here, I'm here.'

(In case you were wondering), the mushrooms stayed dead.

"Uh, Tama-chan?" Hunny asked.

Tamaki lifted his head.

"Are you coming?" The others were on the other side of the magical door.

Tamaki stood and cleared his throat. "O-of course."

…Then the door closed.

**Kyoya: That was awful…455,000,000 yen added to your debt Haruhi**

**Haruhi: Whaaaa?**

**Me: Whoops…**

**Haruhi: WHYYYYYYYYYYY? *shakes me* WRITE BETTER!**

**Me: 'Kay…**

**Kyoya: Please review or we will add to Haruhi's debt**

**Haruhi: REVIEEEEEEW and get me away from these lunatics! :O**

**Me: See you next chapter!**


End file.
